Mr. Johnson
Mr. Johnson is an old man who lives in the town of Harvest. He wears a blue jumpsuit and is seen at the porch of his house. History Mr. Johnson is an old but rich man. He's protective over his precious car, which is a real Tucker. He refers to it as a 'she' and has even transformed his garage into a fortress to prevent kids or punks from scratching his Tucker. Besides his Tucker, he also seems to hold feelings for Edna Fitzpatrick, owner of DNA's Diner''. ''He refers to Edna as the snootiest woman in the town of Harvest, and insists that she's the only woman who would turn him down. Mr. Johnson talks about how much Karin, Edna's daughter, needs a father, and how Edna needs his 'good, hard, penis'. When Steve talks to him for the first time, Mr. Johnson tells him that if Steve wanted, he would drive Steve and Stephanie around during their honeymoon, but would not be opposed to sharing the back seat with Stephanie himself and letting Steve drive. The Sergeant-at-arms gives Steve the task of scratching Mr. Johnson's car as part of his initiation to get into the Lodge. Steve must wait for night to fall before scratching the Tucker, as if he tries to use any items on the car during the daytime while Mr. Johnson is guarding it, Mr Johnson will yell at Steve and then attempt to kill him with his tire iron. Steve needs to go through the sewers to get into Mr. Johnson's garage (which is otherwise locked) and then use the nearby Phillips-head screwdriver to scratch the car. After the deed is done, Mr. Johnson will be upset that someone vandalised his Tucker, and gripes that he wouldn't be able to visit the Sheriff about it, since the Sheriff wouldn't care about the troubles of 'a limp-dicked fat boy'. When Karin is kidnapped, Mr. Johnson sees it as a moment of vulnerability that he can use to get close to Edna, and actually becomes annoyed if Steve rescues Karin, despite apparently showing concern for her wellbeing. Previous Life Mr. Johnson is known for being at least somewhat rich and having an actual Tucker, although the rest of his life details are unknown. The end of Harvester reveals that the town of Harvest is not real, meaning that Mr. Johnson isn't an actual person. Quotes * "I heard Stephanie was grounded. Her daddy's worried about getting his meat, though if I were him, I'd be more concerned about Stephanie gettin' some meat." * "Edna Fitzpatrick is one of the snootiest women in town. I declare, there isn't a woman in Harvest that'd turn me away, if I was interested, that is. Just because she owns DNA's, she's got all these high falutin' ideas about independence. And her with a little girl to raise! That child needs a father. . . and Edna, well she needs a good, hard penis." * "Course, you queered my play with Edna, but I suppose a little girl's life is more important than my sex life, right?" * "I'll admit, DNA's diner does good business, but money isn't everything for a woman. Can money keep you warm at night? Can you wrap your thighs around it, or rake bloody gashes in its back with your painted, harlot fingernails? Edna. . . EDNA! So, how's Stephanie?" Trivia * Mr. Johnson is portrayed by Bob Cawley. Category:Characters Category:Townspeople